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Thursday, September 25, 2014

My Ugly Duckling Profile

 At approximately 35 years of age, I became the single parent of my two children.  Financially, my status didn’t change significantly.  I was very happy with my choice of career.  It was very interesting and fulfilling and provided for a comfortable lifestyle for our family.  I expected the status quo to continue, thereby envisioning a bright future for myself and the children.

 For a few years we seemed to be heading in the right direction, at least financially, until I was faced with a serious health problem. Little did I realize I had taken my first step down Poverty Lane !  When I could no longer perform the duties of my chosen profession, many life changes were gradually forced upon me.  I went from a house to a condo to rental property and then came the ultimate humiliation the day the word “housing” appeared as part of my address. I was now living in subsidized housing.  I had done everything and anything, from home care to scrubbing toilets to keep bread on the table.  My material possessions were pared down to bare essentials.  I was now riding transit wearing the hideous stigma of poverty with all its degrading labels of loser, low-life et al… attached to the ‘handouts’.  I was stripped of my dignity as well as my material possessions. I had let my children down and I felt that I was an embarrassment to my family.   I was feeling so alone, forlorn, abandoned even in a crowd. I felt hurt, frightened, confused, guilty, ashamed, and envious of the picture-perfect lives of those who appeared to have the world by the tail.

This is the child that William Samuel describes as “the child who is two days old and full of trouble”, the one who does not know its own Heart, the child who has solely reason and logic to rely on.  It lives a life of limitation, condemned to struggle and strife and eventual death. 

My Swan Profile

Since this is a blog and not a book I will just state that my path of self-discovery took many twists and turns and finally lead to the wisdom of William Samuel and his introduction to the Child within.  What really knocked my socks off was the following quote:

 “We are talking bout the honest message, the honest truth message.  The honest truth message, as we said, lies in one that turns one to discover himself within, one that turns one within where the real discoveries are made, to turn within to the secret place, to the holy of holies, to the Shekina and there find the true message.  The beauty of such a message, it seems to me, lies in its fulfilling the function of way showing but doing it void of theory, void of speculation or commentary and it’s a message that doesn’t bind the seeker, it doesn’t induce guilt nor encourage the veneration of the messenger or the messenger’s words.  The childlikeness of such a message encourages one to find the beauty and power and the wonder of his own words and to express the discovered life within.  Such is the work the Child does.  The place is within…”

I will post more of this quote on my next post but suffice it to say that that was the master key that opened the door to the buried treasure within and the birth of the “Swan”.  Each and every insight, each glimmer of truth from within can prove itself true as it can and is most assuredly IS put to the test.

The better acquainted I become with the Swan the calmer I feel. My world becomes more and more tranquil, more joyful, more peaceful regardless of circumstances.
The ugly duckling was a divisive judge (the tree of good and evil).  The swan is not happy because my world is good but my world is good because I am good.   

Now, for a short illustration of the ugly duckling and the swan in regards to the stigma of poverty.

 The ugly duckling is a judge - a perception of good and evil...a distortion that comes about because the intellect cannot see beyond the tangible. It cannot see or understand what only the Heart can see. The ugly duckling is polarizing, divisive and puts the donor on a pedestal and the receiver in the gutter.

The ugly duckling’s experience is the 'donation' that is made with a tax receipt in mind or at best, out of pity... that pumps up the ego and puts the recipient on the degrading, demeaning, destructive pitiful beggar, bum, loser, worthless, lazy, dredge of society, burden on the taxpayer list.

 The swan is like a tree abounding with fruit, it has no choice but to give… if no one picks its fruit, it drops it to the ground or it will become barren.  The tree does not die, it lives forever through its seed.  Likewise, the Heart of Love overflows with love and gratitude, is forever and can never be depleted.  It blesses the recipient and in so doing it blesses itself.  It is its very nature to share its bounty with dignity and grace.

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